Offset Suzuki

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Offset David Suzuki Petition

Author November 6, 2013

We, the undersigned do hereby beseech David Suzuki to pay back Mother Earth for his giant carbon footprint and to stop his environmental crimes:
In particular, we implore you, Dr. Suzuki:

  • To downsize from your 8 million dollar, double-lot, seaside mansion to a normal-sized home;
  • To reclaim your other three homes, and plant them with carbon-absorbing trees and mosses and lichens;
  • To appear at your public events by videoconference, instead of jetting to the events across the country and around the world;
  • To bicycle, not take chauffeured vehicles;
  • To stop your creepy and sexist demands for female bodyguards to escort you in our schools;
  • To speak to Canadian students altruistically, not charge $41,000 fees;
  • And, to stop pretending you’re the victim, when in fact you’re the bully;
  • In short, to live like you believe what you’re preaching.

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